Top Ten Enemies of Sex

The greatest enemies of sex are:

  1. Stress.
  2. Fatigue (especially when combined with stress).
  3. Inhibition — the rules we have from a lifetime of conditioning about what is and is not acceptable.
  4. Fear — of being controlled (by your partner’s desires), of losing control, or of being in control.
  5. Time management problems and the failure to schedule pleasure into our lives, with the result that we have little time to switch out of our work mode, relax and savor each other.
  6. Ignorance and misinformation reinforced by the belief that talking about sex robs it of spontaneity and romance.
  7. Unrealistic expectations.
  8. Anxiety, whether about sexual performance directly, about related issues such as pregnancy, or about unrelated issues such as work or money.
  9. Misuse of sex, such as to manipulate or exploit, as a bargaining tool or weapon, to relieve anxiety, or as a substitute for bonding and affection.
  10. Unexpressed anger and resentment (often disguised as indifference or boredom) overĀ unresolved issues and unexpressed grievances.

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