Okinawa | March 4, 2016
I appreciate you spending time talking to me, even when you are pissed off with me. This is different than what I normally write here, because I know just how mad you are with me. it takes a great deal of strength to do that and I appreciate it.
I talked to the chaplain and the EO guy and the JAG guy today. They all say basically the same thing, which is that they don’t know anything about a mediation type course. The chaplain is actually going to see if there is ANY sort of course that is similar to what you are going to do be taking. The other guys just said that there was nothing like that. Of course, I have figured out that the eo guy is an idiot. But he said that the whole EO thing is on EO and SHARP stuff and how to report incidents, not really anything else. My meeting with the chaplain was okay, but not great. He said a few things that we should try and things to talk about, but I am not sure how much you are going to like them. The JAG and I went to finance and those guys, typical of finance guys, have banker’s hours. They were on the other base for “training”. sigh. I am off on Monday, so I will go and spend the whole freaking day if I have to standing in there and getting that worked out.
I am puzzled by what is going to happen today. I mean, when we are having problems like this (okay, when I am having problems, because it’s me that has an issue with you being mad at me!) I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Or like I am waiting for a time bomb to go off.
Concerns with Recommendations:
I am concerned with us. I am scared stiff. The idea of NOT being married to you makes me feel like someone has walked over my grave. Not because I am scared of being alone, but because I am scared of not being with you. I love you more than anything and the thought of me not being with you, or you being with someone else, is terrifying.
Wishes, Hopes and Dreams:
I hope you are feeling better today. I know that you probably are not, in reality, but I hope you are feeling a LITTLE better. I also hope and wish and dream that we can get things worked out. I love you, I miss you and I need you in my life. You give my life meaning.
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