On listening

When I ask you to listen to me and you start by giving advice,
You have not done what I asked.

The art of talking

Effective communication is the cement that holds a relationship together.

Clarifying relationship expectations

It is important to keep your relationship current in the present. The past is history and cannot be changed; the future is uncertain. A relationship thrives or withers in the present.

Warriors to soulmates

From Warrior to Soul Mate is a unique and important program helping many of America’s Veterans strengthen the health of their families.

Separating assumptions from behaviors

All of us bring certain assumptions to our intimate relationships, expectations we don’t have of anyone else. They are specific to those with whom we are closest.  Typical positive expectations include a steady supply of undivided attention, words and gestures of love and caring, loyalty, constancy, sex, companionship, agreement, friendship, fidelity, honesty, trust, respect and…

Becoming non-defensive

What do we have to do to be able to hear complaints or criticism? We first have to be willing to know and to accept ourselves. We really have to believe that we are good enough, lovable, and entitled–entitled to be happy, to make mistakes, and to ask for help. “I am good enough” is…

Feelings and self-disclosure

People usually find they have the most difficulty with identifying and admitting to themselves what they actually feel, and then disclosing their feelings frankly to their partner. This may happen partly because we’ve accepted certain values uncritically from earlier models. Often we adopt attitudes (such as, “It isn’t ladylike to get angry,” and “Only a…