Love knots are faulty assumptions that sabotage intimacy. They may seem true, but upon closer examination, we realize they aren’t based on rationale expectations. Consider one of the most common: “If you really loved me …” If you really loved me, you would know what I want, and you would do it. Since you don’t, you…

If you are in pain, I believe I should be able to fix it. I don’t know how to fix it, so I feel inadequate. I get angry at you for making me feel inadequate. I withdraw from you and blame you when you are in pain. ~ Lori Heyman Gordon

Another common love knot …. If you tell me what you want, I feel controlled or obligated to do what you want. When I feel controlled, I feel weak and inadequate.   I cannot give you what you ask for without feeling resentful.   If you tell me your feelings, I must do what you…