Daily Temperature Reading, 3/3

I like that you are trying to do your best to not shut the door on me. I can see how you are trying to see if I am going to screw you over again and I assure you I am NOT!

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/29

I know that you say that I have squandered my time to talk, but some of it is that I don’t want to just jump right into things.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/27

I wish I were home because one of the other things I would like to start doing when I do finally get home is cooking with you. Maybe I am just hungry.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/26

I am concerned about what is happening to us … It is not easy to hear those things and I tend to get defensive or hurt or whatever you want to call it.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/23

I am puzzled by how we are going to begin talking about the real things. I mean, where do we start? What do we start with?

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/22

I am still concerned with the expectations thing. I am not quite sure how to answer that. I mean, there are certain things that I expect, but I think I have gotten to where I just take them for granted instead.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/20

While I am happy that you were candid with me last night, I am still concerned by what you said. I don’t want us to fall apart.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/19

I know that it has been hard on you for doing everything and I want you to know that I understand just how much pressure is on you and how much you do.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/18

There is no getting around the trust issues between us. I am going to do everything I can to SHOW you that I can be trusted.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/16

I hate that you are stuck there again. I have been thinking and not really coming up with too much that was useful. Which sucks. But there HAS to be something I can do!!

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/15

I just wanted to let you know again how proud of you I am and how proud I am of the kids. You all are the lights of my life.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/14

I wish I were home. I can’t wait to see you again and hold you. I dream of being with you a long LONG time, telling you dumb jokes and hopefully making you laugh.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/13

When two adults (two smart adults) can’t talk about ANYTHING, what the hell is wrong with us? I am scared to death that things are spiraling way out of control.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/10

I am concerned with what is going on with us. I am concerned about not being able to talk with each other. We have GOT to get it worked out. I mean, this is crazy.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/9

I wish I were with you. I hope that we get through this. I dream of growing old with you and a long long time from now realizing how lucky we are to have stayed together.

Daily Temperature Reading, 2/7

I appreciate you talking to me while you were watching your movie! It was nice. I know we didn’t really say anything, but it was nice to talk to you.

Seven Thousand Miles Away, U.S. Navy Couple Struggles to Protect Own Marriage, Family

On any given weekday, an average of 60 U.S. servicemen and women get divorced. “Max” and “Abby,” not their real names, are separated by more than 7,000 miles while he’s deployed with the U.S. Navy to Okinawa. Max is hoping – more than hoping – an exercise known as the PAIRS Daily Temperature Reading helps him protect his own marriage and family while he’s a world away.

It’s time to tell the truth about love

The ruse about love woven into the psyche of baby boomers and the generations they reared wrought havoc that forever altered the landscape of America’s families and neighborhoods.

Fearing life

The genuine solitaries of life fear intimacy more than loneliness.

The revolving ledger

You may say, “Prove to me you will not mistreat me as I was in the past” or “Make up to me for what someone else did to me.”

On listening

When I ask you to listen to me and you start by giving advice,
You have not done what I asked.

The art of talking

Effective communication is the cement that holds a relationship together.

Marriages on their merit

With children no longer the universally accepted reason for marriage, marriages are going to have to exist on their own merit.

Clarifying relationship expectations

It is important to keep your relationship current in the present. The past is history and cannot be changed; the future is uncertain. A relationship thrives or withers in the present.

Emotions and the triune brain

Considering the parts and functions of the human brain offers a scientific explanation for the importance of bonding.

If you really loved me

Love knots are faulty assumptions that sabotage intimacy. They may seem true, but upon closer examination, we realize they aren’t based on rationale expectations. Consider one of the most common: “If you really loved me …” If you really loved me, you would know what I want, and you would do it. Since you don’t, you…

Sustaining positive relationship change and growth

Change is the one thing you can count on in relationships. The relationship changes as external circumstances change and as the needs, desires, growth and experience of the partner’s shift. At the same time, resistance to change is normal and should come as no surprise, even when a proposed change clearly makes sense. We resist…

Six questions towards a better relationship

Focus specifically on issues in your relationship that are important to you. It is useful to ask six questions in order to arrive at the issues you would like to negotiate. What do I want that I am not getting? What am I getting that I don’t want? What am I giving that I don’t…

The relationship contract

Most couples who are unhappy in their relationship feel disappointed, if not outright betrayed, that what they expected to find in the relationship either hasn’t happened or has stopped happening.

Symptoms of inner peace

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace: A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment. A loss of interest in judging other people. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. A loss of interest in power and conflict….

Individuation and differentiation

There are some concepts that I have tried to put in simple language, about the emotional development needed for a grownup adult relationship (See Guidelines for Grownups). I’d like to introduce another type of language.  Murray Bowen, a psychiatrist who was Director of the Family Studies Center at Georgetown University, has developed some terminology that…

Thoughts of a sexual male

I am a forty-five year-old man, divorced and re-married, with one daughter and one stepdaughter. I have lived most of my life with lots of thoughts about sex.